update...

Well it's been awhile and alot has been going on. We ended up pregnant this last month. It came with excitement followed by a lot of fear. This past weekend I lost the baby at 7 weeks. The Dr said that it quit growing at 5 weeks. This makes 2 miscarriages in 4 months. It has been a really hard long journey these last few months. We have been talking and have decided that it's best if we take a break for awhile from the trying. We want a baby more than anything in the world but I just don't think that we can handle the disappointment again right now. So we are not going to try but not going to prevent either. We have decided to focus our attention on traveling and having fun together again. Not that we haven't had fun together, but we have realized that things have either been sad or scary for the last 7 months and we are just worn out emotionally.

So the first thing that we are going to do is take a vacation for our 3rd wedding anniversary. We are not sure yet where we are going but it will be wonderful to get away. We have also decided that if we are not pregnant by January we want to take a vacation to Ireland, we have been wanting to go there for a long time.

I'm such a dork!!

Well I was pretty much positive that I did not ovulate this cycle because of working nights, until lunch today. They drew my progesterone levels yesterday to see if I did in fact ovulate. Well it came back 65.3!!!!! It's supposed to be greater than 15 on this day past ovulation. I was totally shocked. This came after my friend Ash sent me a text message that said "I totally think that u are going 2 get a bfp", for those that don't know what a BFP is it stands for "Big Fat Positive". I then proceeded to call her laughing and telling her that I thought she was crazy!! This was all before I got the results back. My opinion changed in the matter of seconds!!!. I know that this does not mean that I'm pregnant but it makes me hopeful that there could be a chance of it this cycle. Before we got the results back Michael and I were talking about getting off of the fertility drugs while I was on nights because I thought that they didn't work this cycle. Michael and I both were super excited and this has made us not want to give up yet!! We shall see what happens. If it doesn't work then we will try again next cycle, maybe adding some accupuncture to it. I've read some great studies that show that this is affective.

Great news abut Michael...I'm soooo proud!! He got a call the other day that said that he was being picked to be the only representative of his division of the A.R.M.Y. reserves to march in the Memorial Day Parade in Washington D.C. in May!!! So we will get to spend a long weekend there. We are soooo excited for him, and also to get to go and see all the historical markers in D.C..

Michael is finishing up another semester of college. It looks like he's going to end up with all A's and B's again. I'm so proud. Work is still keeping us both really busy. I'm starting to get overtime because our census is up. Michael has been lucky to stay close to home right now.

So I guess that's it for now. I will keep you updated.

Up and running

I'm sooo proud of myself for running lately. I've made it up to 3.75 miles!!!! I'm working towards running a 10 K with Ashley in the coming months. We didn't get pregnant this last cycle, but we are back on Clomid. We started it yesterday so I'm hoping for a successful cycle this time. We are both staying really busy still. We are going to Austin this weekend for my birthday!!! We are excited about going and hanging out with friends.

and the temp drops

This morning I woke up to having my temperature drop....which means that I'm out this cycle. I kind of got my hopes up because everything was looking so good. That's my body for you.....it likes to get my hopes up and let me down. I'm going to go run 3 miles and then come back and hope that next cycle is the one. If all goes well then I will be able to take the Clomid this coming cycle.

OMG it's been awhile

So sorry that we haven't blogged in awhile. Well life has been busy....Amanda has started working nights, UGH!!! It's taking both of us awhile to get use to the change. We have been busy getting the yard ready for the new year. Amanda was getting ready to start back on the clomid again when she came down with a viral infection so this month we did not use them. Michael has been busy at work and school thankfully he's job has been keeping him busy. There have been many layoff's in the industry but we keep saying our prayers that everyday he has a job when he goes in and so far those prayers have been answered. We are also getting ready for Amanda's birthday weekend in Austin. We are really excited to be going since neither of us have ever been for any amount of time. We are currently in our 2WW, we are hopeful but not expecting anything right now.

Heartbreak

Wednesday night I was having some spotting and cramping and it turned into bright red blood. I called the Dr's office and they told me to come in first thing in the morning. I went in and I just knew in my heart that something was wrong, i've known for 4 weeks now that something wasn't right. Welll they did an abdominal doppler and were not able to get a heartbeat. Then they did an abdominal sonogram and still no heartbeat. Then he did a vaginal sonogram and the baby was dead. He said that it had stopped growing 4 weeks ago, right about when my symptoms just stopped. He said how sorry he was that we lost the baby. He told me that we had a few options to choose from. He said that we could wait for a week and see if I pass it on my own or we could do a D&C. After having him answer a few questions for me about healing time and pain and what would be best overall for recovery, Michael and I decided that we would do the D&C. They got us in first thing this morning and I'm soooo glad that they did. I was starting to pass the remains on my own and it was becoming really painful. After the D&C the pain and bleeding is much less than the pain and bleeding from yesterday and through the night. The whole surgery didn't last very long and I slept for 7 hours afterwards. I was up at 2 am this morning from the nightmares and thoughts of what all was going on in my body. Michael and I are trying to deal with this change in our lives right now. We know that God has a purpose and reason why this baby needed to be with him instead. I believe that having the baby out of my body helps start the healing process. We have given this to God and pray that he helps heal our hearts. We have decided to wait for awhile to start trying again for a child. We appreciate all the thoughts and prayers for us during this time. We have our ups and downs, please forgives us if we don't get in contact with everyone during this time.

almost out of the first trimester!

So I'm almost 12 weeks pregnant now and I'm glad that I'm almost through the first trimester. It has been a scary 3 months. I'm hoping to feel a little more relaxed and comfortable with the pregnancy soon. everytime I feel a cramp or pulling sensation it scares me. I've talked with many of my friends with children and who are also pregnant and they all say that this is pretty common. I resist the urge to call the Dr. everytime. I go back to the Dr. in a week and a half. I'm praying that everything is great when we go and that I can hear the heartbeat. It has messed with my mind every since I left the Dr.'s office last appointment and they weren't able to hear it. I keep praying that our baby is fine. On a more positive note...l PASSED MY STATE BOARDS EXAM!!!!! I'm officially a registered nurse. It has felt like such a relief to know that all my hard work has gotten me to the point that I wanted to be. So now I'm at work and going through my residency till April. Michael is doing great!!! He's taking 9 hours of classes this semester and also working full time. He's getting more and more excited about the baby. We have been looking at nursery furniture and baby bedding and all the other gear that comes with a baby. I'm anxious to find out if it's a girl or a boy so that we can start decorating. We have also been looking at baby names!!! It's all starting to feel a little more real. I will post again after our Dr's appointment.