OMG it's been awhile

So sorry that we haven't blogged in awhile. Well life has been busy....Amanda has started working nights, UGH!!! It's taking both of us awhile to get use to the change. We have been busy getting the yard ready for the new year. Amanda was getting ready to start back on the clomid again when she came down with a viral infection so this month we did not use them. Michael has been busy at work and school thankfully he's job has been keeping him busy. There have been many layoff's in the industry but we keep saying our prayers that everyday he has a job when he goes in and so far those prayers have been answered. We are also getting ready for Amanda's birthday weekend in Austin. We are really excited to be going since neither of us have ever been for any amount of time. We are currently in our 2WW, we are hopeful but not expecting anything right now.

Heartbreak

Wednesday night I was having some spotting and cramping and it turned into bright red blood. I called the Dr's office and they told me to come in first thing in the morning. I went in and I just knew in my heart that something was wrong, i've known for 4 weeks now that something wasn't right. Welll they did an abdominal doppler and were not able to get a heartbeat. Then they did an abdominal sonogram and still no heartbeat. Then he did a vaginal sonogram and the baby was dead. He said that it had stopped growing 4 weeks ago, right about when my symptoms just stopped. He said how sorry he was that we lost the baby. He told me that we had a few options to choose from. He said that we could wait for a week and see if I pass it on my own or we could do a D&C. After having him answer a few questions for me about healing time and pain and what would be best overall for recovery, Michael and I decided that we would do the D&C. They got us in first thing this morning and I'm soooo glad that they did. I was starting to pass the remains on my own and it was becoming really painful. After the D&C the pain and bleeding is much less than the pain and bleeding from yesterday and through the night. The whole surgery didn't last very long and I slept for 7 hours afterwards. I was up at 2 am this morning from the nightmares and thoughts of what all was going on in my body. Michael and I are trying to deal with this change in our lives right now. We know that God has a purpose and reason why this baby needed to be with him instead. I believe that having the baby out of my body helps start the healing process. We have given this to God and pray that he helps heal our hearts. We have decided to wait for awhile to start trying again for a child. We appreciate all the thoughts and prayers for us during this time. We have our ups and downs, please forgives us if we don't get in contact with everyone during this time.

almost out of the first trimester!

So I'm almost 12 weeks pregnant now and I'm glad that I'm almost through the first trimester. It has been a scary 3 months. I'm hoping to feel a little more relaxed and comfortable with the pregnancy soon. everytime I feel a cramp or pulling sensation it scares me. I've talked with many of my friends with children and who are also pregnant and they all say that this is pretty common. I resist the urge to call the Dr. everytime. I go back to the Dr. in a week and a half. I'm praying that everything is great when we go and that I can hear the heartbeat. It has messed with my mind every since I left the Dr.'s office last appointment and they weren't able to hear it. I keep praying that our baby is fine. On a more positive note...l PASSED MY STATE BOARDS EXAM!!!!! I'm officially a registered nurse. It has felt like such a relief to know that all my hard work has gotten me to the point that I wanted to be. So now I'm at work and going through my residency till April. Michael is doing great!!! He's taking 9 hours of classes this semester and also working full time. He's getting more and more excited about the baby. We have been looking at nursery furniture and baby bedding and all the other gear that comes with a baby. I'm anxious to find out if it's a girl or a boy so that we can start decorating. We have also been looking at baby names!!! It's all starting to feel a little more real. I will post again after our Dr's appointment.

pregnancy update!!!

Well nothing new here really. I went for my first official OB appointment about a week and a half ago. He did all the normal questions and exams. He tried to use the doppler to hear the baby but he said that I might not be far enough along to hear it. Well I wasn't it made me sad and kind of worried. He said not to worry about it...easier said than done. I've been learning to give it to GOD and trust that everything is ok with the baby. Michael has been amazing and helpful, I could not ask for a better support system than him. So we go back in the middle of Feb for our next OB appointment and I'm anxious to hear the heartbeat. Symptoms have been nausea that comes and goes at times, but as long as I eat frequently then I'm good. The tiredness has let up a little lately. I bought some pregnancy pants and those are the most amazing things for a pregnant woman. So that's it for now. I will catch you up later.

7 weeks and 4 days

We went back to the Dr. today and I was surprised that they did another sonogram. I just went for a follow up from all the problems we had two weeks ago. This time I got to hear the heartbeat and see it. The heartbeat measured in the 120's and the Dr. said that everything was looking great. He measured the baby at 7 weeks and 4 days. He lifted my restrictions and now I'm able to exercise, and resume normal daily functions, which is good because I start working tomorrow. He told me that we were lucky that we didn't have more than one baby because it looked like I had released more than one egg back in Nov. We would have been happy either way. There was no more blood in my uterus, and the baby has grown so much. The picture above does it no justice. They had to use a portable sono machine this time and it doesn't give as clear of a picture as the first sono we had done. We feel so relieved now that everything is progressing like it should be. I go back tomorrow for them to do all my initial lab work and to talk to the accounting department about setting up a payment plan, I'm a little nervous to see what it's going to cost. Anyways. I'm off to bed. I was up till almost 3 this morning feeling like I was going to get sick. I'm so grateful that the morning sickness is not as bad as it could be.

Well I guess I better get started on this blog thing. I will have to update you later on the background of Michael and I but for now I'll catch you up with the current news. After a year of trying to conceive our first child, we are finally pregnant. We used two cycles of fertility drugs but it was all worth it. We are currently 6 weeks and 1 day pregnant and I'm starting to feel like it. We had a big scare almost a week ago. I had a gush of blood and some severe pain and we thought our dream was over. We went to the ER where they told us that we probably had an ectopic pregnancy. Our Dr had us come in the office that same morning for another ultrasound and everything was fine. The placenta had detached a little from the uterus, that was what was causing the bleeding. We went back two days later on Christmas eve and our Dr asked us if we wanted an early Christmas present we said yes and then he showed us the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen...our baby's heartbeat!!!! We both just cried. The Dr said to take it easy for awhile and that he was feeling alot better now since the bleeding was slowing down and the baby had a heartbeat. Ever since then we have had no more bleeding. I'm starting to get some morning sickness, only nausea for the moment. I can't stand the taste of meat right now!!! I've been really tired...sleeping about 12 hours a night. Michael is starting to feel more comfortable now that the baby is doing good. I'm trying to enjoy my last two weeks off for awhile before I start my new job as a N.I.C.U. nurse. Michael has been busy with work as a landman. Oh we are due August 22, 2009!!!! I will catch ya'll up later!!!